It’s true. Counter space to me in valuable and I used a toaster so infrequently that when the last one puttered out I did not replace it. Instead, now when I crave toast I set the oven on low and put bread inside to toast a bit before I doctor it up with whatever…. butter, or peanut butter, or jelly…..
today was such a morning.
I prepped the oven and popped in the bread and went back to answering emails, working on laundry… and then as you can probably guess (the set up of my plot here is given away by the title of my post….) I burned it. Yup.
Currently I am toastless.
Ever the optimist, I will have to try again…
In other thoughts this morning, thank you to those of you who send me the occasional card of kindness. Seriously. You know who you are and I have to tell you when I open my mailbox and find a kind note or card from one of these awesome book connections I have here, I really do smile through my tears. I appreciate you all so much. Thank you for lifting me up. Each day is a little battle that I expect I am going to struggle with for a long long time… your kindness by taking the time to tell me you are here… you are caring. Seriously. No words. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
♥
My car had a flat tire yesterday. SO today I will probably ride my bike to the library while waiting for the tire to be fixed. That is life.. I go on day to day, as I suspect many of you do as well… finding the middle road, trying to stay positive…
Some mornings I wake up in a funk and that is pretty much my whole day… there have been quite a few of those lately where my heart is heavy, I have no energy, and I am more than happy not to talk to anyone or go anywhere.
And then…
there are days like today.
I woke up early (3 am) that is not unusual these days. Walked about a bit, stood on the deck in the dark… and back to bed at 3:30 am. Up at 5:30 am and for whatever reason… sad, but energized. I completed a load of laundry, sent emails to the library about window plans, talked to a friend on the phone before she went to work, sent out potential cabin plans to another friend, text a message to another friend about meeting up this week, read emails, and drank a lot of COFFEE.
It is days like these that I see that glimmer of the old me fighting through and knowing that Justin would be cheering me on, “Come on Mom!”, he would say, “I know you go this!” I try… every day… for him.
So I mentioned a BIG book. Yes my book club reads a classic every October. I have insisted on this for years because I think it is important that we attempt the greats (and trust me… some are not so great but still fun to discuss). And this year our vote went to…
Gone With The Wind.
Have you read it? Have you tried to read it? Have you seen the movie?
For me… this is a bucket list book. I don’t like reading about war, or about women in large frilly dresses… but my friend Gail swears by this book. SO MUCH that a couple of years ago she gave me a beautiful hard covered copy for my birthday. That I promptly placed high on a shelf with the promise that someday I would read it.
That day has come.
I cracked that baby open yesterday afternoon and entered Scarlett O’Hara’s world. A world of parties and boys and jealousy and plantations – and that is only the first 59 pages! I have until the second Tuesday in October to finish this book. I will… and for fun, our book club is planing to attempt to make the curtain dresses (I LOVE my book club!) and we will dress the era, eat the food – and possibly go on a hayride after because…
why wouldn’t we?
Anyhoo…. that’s what is happening here. The sun is out for the first time in days. I will finish mowing the lawn, run errands, read a little, and get through one more day.
Emma Michaels, Mackenzie Hayes, and Serena Stockton used to be the best of friends. Every year they would spent one week together at a cabin owned by Emma; laughing, sharing, and eating way too much ice cream. Then one year, Emma stopped inviting Mackenzie and Serena. The girls no longer spent their annual week together and without knowing what happened, they drifted apart. Now, 5 years later, Emma feels it is time to clear the air and share a secret she knows can destroy them all.
As the girls all arrive for their planned weekend, Emma is in a serious car accident and Mackenzie and Serena start to piece together what had happened all of those years ago on their own.
I have always enjoyed Wendy Wax’s books (my first was Leave It To Cleavage and has a funny story to go with it). Her books tend to be about relationships and friendships and never over the top but more like good summer reading (insert large sunglasses, ice tea, and a light snack here).
In many ways A Week At The Lake fit in with much of what I just said about Wendy Wax. For the most part the book is a good summer read. I have to mention a few moment that didn’t feel real, or a little far fetched – it was still worth the read. I like stories of women’s friendships and this book fit that genre perfectly.
A quick read that will wish you long for a beach chair.
I am not much of a meme joiner upper but I have always loved this picture (above) hosted by The Caffeinated Reader. It also seems to fit who I am these days, sitting back with maybe not slippers (I prefer flip flops), but definitely in my pajamas a little longer than I usually am these days. Coffee? Check. Newspaper? Well no, but replace that with my lap top and you pretty much have me in the above pic.
So basically, this meme is supposed to reflect on our week, our books, our plans… and well, that is what I kind of do here anyway so here goes.
I have another blissfully low key day here today and I am so glad. While these quiet days are definitely more emotional for me as I have no one to be “on” for… that is ok. He is worth the grief and he will be worth it forever. Every tear. This afternoon I am going to have lunch with one of Justin’s friends who is in town and I am looking forward to that. I know there will be stories, I know there will be tears… but like kindred spirits it is nice to have people in my life who get exactly where I am at and want to hang out with me anyway. ♥
My support team. Always on stand by.
I am hoping this is me coming back into a good blog routine. I feel that this is a safe place to share not only what I am reading and listening to – but also what I am going through. Thanks to the Morning Meandering being around all these years, my sharing my life is nothing new…. it is different now, but you all knew me then… and thank you for being here now.
Of course there are new books in the house. Now I am not going to post all the books and audio that have come in to my home since I last posted about the books… that would be a bit scary! Instead I grabbed the books that I have not put away yet from my counter and table, the ones that have come in over the last week maybe two.
♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦
Pokergeist by Michael Phillips Cash (yes you read that right… I read The After House by him and liked it…plus, this one came with a deck of cards. Yeah… I am a sucker for swag. 😉 )
Unprocessed by Megan Kimble (I love foodie books and this journey of eating unprocessed foods for a year sounds fascinating! I could last maybe a week….)
The Afterlife Academy by Frank L Cole (An MG read not sure how I got this one but my memory is shot these days so I probably signed up for it… MG reads can be fun!)
History and Hauntings of the Halloween Capital by Roxy Orcutt (This one I picked up at our local book store. I had no idea that the town of Aitkin Minnesota (about 40 miles from me) has been declared by congress to be the Halloween Capital of the World. You would think I would know something like that!)
As you can imagine, this was not the easiest of years for me to push through this event. I thankfully had secured our authors in February of this year and Nadia Hashimi joined us in late March (only a week before my life fell apart). The website and the ticket sales were already in place by then so the team was able to move on with the planning without me until I was able to assist again in June.
We were at a larger venue (Grand View Lodge) that allowed us to accommodate 120 more guests than last year. It has been so exciting to watch this event grow from a “do you think this will work in Brainerd?” to a “holy smokes we need a larger venue!”
We had a great team of people willing to work on the silent auction, ticket sales, handing out brochures, and this year we even worked on sponsorship’s! As you can see in the above picture, we had an excellent author line up – a good mix of genres and the authors were so well spoken – talking about their writing, their books, and their relationship to libraries. Seriously.. I was a bit giddy.
Here are a few of the many many pictures taken of our event this year:
Check in and the social hourSocial hour
One of our Team Members, Sherri talking with William Kent Krueger about his book
Part of the book sale team… Friends Members: Rhonda and Amy
The guy who puts the “wine” in Wine and Words – our local Liquor man, Mark from Cash Wise Liquor
Its always fun to see people get excited about books!
Ahhh… what the heck, here is what the event really looked like:
We gave away gift cards and a Kindle Fire. Justin’s friends also purchased a table in his name and attended, just as he would have – and just as he had, the last two years. ♥ There are no words for what that means to me…
As far as how we did… I am finishing up the last bit of calculating today so I can give our team an accurate look at the total win for Friends of the Brainerd Public Library… and trust me on this…
it was a win. 🙂
Check out other Saturday Snapshots here and see what awesome people are taking pictures of around the world.
Longing for a good summer read centered around beautiful Nantucket, author Elin Hinderbrand is an excellent “go to” choice for just such a read. ~ Sheila
When Grace Pancik sets her mind on something there is really no stopping her. When Grace decides that she wants the most beautiful gardens in all of Nantucket, she hires the easy on the eyes Benton to be her guide.
When Madeline King, Grace’s best friend, struggles with writers block with an ever pressing deadline… she panics and reaches for a story line she knows that she should not be telling, but what could it hurt? And who would know?
When Eddie, Grace’s’ husband gets in over his head in a real estate windfall gone bad, he makes some hard and most definitely not legal choices… but with Madeline King insisting on her money back that she and her husband gave Eddie in trust and is constantly calling threateningly a lawsuit, and the bills stacking up around him… what is a guy to do?
Grace’s hanging out almost daily with the gardener.
Madeline is writing a steamy tell all… but what is her inspiration?
Eddie is having secret conversations with Madeline.
Grace’s twin teenage daughters are up to their own schemes while their parents are so preoccupied.
Madeline rents a studio apartment.
and that is how Rumors get started….
I have enjoyed Elin Hilderbrand in the past and The Rumor was no exception. Author Elin Hilderbrand once again creates an easy and engaging summer read that is just plain fun. I enjoyed each of the story lines in the book and how easily one can misinterpret what is really happening… as well as how often what we think could not possibly be true – actually is.
Narrated by Kathleen McInerney (who also occasionally narrates for Mary Kay Andrews), the book on audio flowed well. I found myself engaged in what would happen next.
Definitely a go to author for me, I recommend Hilderbrand’s books for those who love a good summery read based on the island of Nantucket.. where truly… anything can and will happen.
Once again I am surprised how easily I slip away these past months. I just drift out of my normal routine which is often replaced by not much… sorrow, thinking, trying to adjust…
but lately as those of you who know me and know my activities it has been about 7 weeks of preparing for my sons benefit,spending time with a dying friend, a color run event for my son, another hard funeral, a bike ride fund-raiser, followed by the planning of Wine and Words year 3 and then last Thursday we had Wine and Words, our biggest year yet.
I followed all of this up with a day of catching up on things neglected – laundry, household basics, and mowing the lawn… and then on Saturday morning…
I drove 3 hours to our cabin with a few friends and stayed until Tuesday evening.
Usually after Wine and Words Justin and I would go to the cabin and chill for the weekend eating junk food, playing board games, and watching movies… LAZY stuff. I knew this would be a hard weekend as Justin and I had talked about this weekend in March about how we were excited to just hang out again. Instead… in this newness, I went with friends and we did watch moves and eat junk food, but we also went shopping, exploring, biking…. it was more active and it was nice.
The last couple of days since returning home I have been pretty tired. Emotionally and physically from the past 6 weeks of pretty much none stop activity while dealing with my great grief. Yesterday I took a long nap. This morning I woke up at 5 am stayed up until 6:30 am… went back to bed and got up again at 9 am. I am starting to feel a bit of energy returning and have no plans over the weekend which I am thankful for… I can set the pace.
As for this world of Book Journey – I am hopeful that I am back. My reading has been slow, but I do have reviews to write. I miss hanging out here with all of you and I am looking forward to getting back into the routine of visiting all of you and seeing what you are reading as well.
It is quiet in the house. Al left around 8 am to look at job sites. I am here sitting with COFFEE cup catching up on a few emails before I start my day with a visit to my aunt and probably mowing the lawn.
Even the dogs are having a restful morning.
Mater and Sammy sleeping at opposite ends of the couch this morning
My thoughts are never far from Justin and as you can imagine I find him everywhere in everything. Last evening, I brought the doors out for Wine and Words to repaint. The doors, are a set of doors that we picked up three years ago at a Re-Store (used furniture and hardware store that raises money for Habitat For Humanity). The doors we hinged together and I painted with a chalk board paint. In paint markers I wrote across the top of the doors
What books opened doors for you?
Wine and Words event 2013
Guests loved this. Authors took pictures of the doors to use the idea at future events. And the doors… the doors became a staple of our event. Every year I repaint them and start anew.
So… anyway…
I brought the doors out to paint yesterday and when I opened them on the back side I found this…
As you can imagine… tears everywhere. My son wrote this at last years event. Perfectly up in a corner where it would be easy to leave on the doors. And of course you know… I did not paint over it.
It is these little things I seem to stumble upon day to day. A note, a memory, a card in the mail, or… even this package that came to my house this week…
This package came from a company that Justin created the logo for. Out of the blue… they sent this lovely package and a letter.
Right? Tears. Beautiful tears though. My son is loved. My heart… is full of the amazing people that were in his life. When he says above that Harry Potter helped him understand miracles like magic, I smile… he was magic. He was my miracle.
This is what grief looks like in writing.
Gah. I digress.
This was supposed to be a happy post. And it is… every day I fight to move forward trying to resemble “me”. Whoever I am now.
On a bookish note, I have been thinking more about What Are You Reading, the Monday meme. I think I will bring it back the first Sunday in September. I was going to start last week but was too tired. Next Sunday I plan to be at our cabin and I have no internet there so don’t want to stop and start and stop. I am not reading much due to the fullness of July and then the two events – Camp Benedict Bike Ride and now Wine and Words. Every day I am working on something but books will come back – that is the beauty of them… they wait for us.
Well I certainly did not plan on being MIA this past week here, but I see my last post was a week ago. A week on heavy library activity and we are down to the wire planning for Wine and Words. Lots of busy volunteers out there making the final steps happen. This week I worked on the table brochure, seating arrangements with my friend Sue, lots of email communications, sponsor information, phone calls, ticket sales, communications to our venue, and tomorrow myself and the Co-Chair Gail will hopefully take care of the final silent auction items which we are planning on a good 4-6 hours at the library doing that.
Whew.
Anyhoo…
This week at the Brainerd Public Library a lot of things were happening fast.
We got the word that the cement people were coming to lay out the plan for the benches and give the bid.
The Library Director and I went and layed out the plan for the benches and where they would go.
When they came the bid was a good one and they said they would be able to do the job on Friday. (Yesterday)
Friday!!!!
We hit “go mode” and bought materials to put stone around two of the trees in the area the benches would go to add a nice park feel to the area.
I dug up hostas from my own gardens because I loved the symbolism of having the plants being from our home where my son’s bench was going to be placed.
Thursday we were able to work on it a little bit in the morning and then we were rained out.
Friday morning we finished the hosta project (including a bonus space because we had extra stones) and the cement people did their thing.
The benches will go in early this next week.
A little background on the benches for those of you who are not familiar with my story of the past 4 months…. when my 24 year old son was killed in a car accident in April of this year, the book community did an AMAZING thing. A group of bookish friends who I have connected with through here, started up a bench fund so a bench could be placed at our local library in memory of my son.
My heart… runneth over.
This bench led to the Friends of the Brainerd Public Library moving forward on something we had talked about over the last couple of years, and that was putting some nice outdoor benches outside the Library. The Friends, on top of what the book community started with Justin’s bench, tossed in an additional $10,000 so we could add a bench on both sides of Justin’s as well as an octagon picnic table, a heavy duty garbage can, and two more benches for the Children’s outdoor area of the library.
I will post pictures once the benches are in place. I have seen Justin’s bench and it is BEAUTIFUL.
The two trees that we planted the hostas around.Preparing for the benchesPrepping the Children’s Area ( we had planned on two benches but changed our mind and had them prep for 4. We will order two more benches.The moving of “Ben” the old bench that has sat in the bench planning area since the library was moved to this location.“Ben’s” new home in the employee area of the library next to a picnic table. It looks as though he was meant to be there.Jolene the library director working on the third “bonus” hosta bed.The cement going in. It was crazy cool. I wanted to get my tent and stay overnight there so no one touched it while it hardened.Childrens area cement prep for the benches to go in this next week.
As you can imagine, this whole project has been bitter sweet. I love being a part of it and digging my hands into the dirt knowing that this will become a place where people will sit and read, and talk, and enjoy. For those of you who contributed to making this happen… I can not thank you enough. Even now, 4 months in I still cry every day. This bench… this project means so much.
Thank you.
I am posting this to Saturday Snaphot, where people all over the world can add pictures of what is happening in their lives. ♥
Camp Benedict Bike Ride 2015: L: Belinda, Sheila W, Me, and Farrah
I have not been a part of Saturday snapshot for well… lets say a long time. Today seemed like a good day to do this one again. July was a crazy mess. On top of my own grief, my friend Connie went into the hospital on July 3rd and by the 5th we were told she would not be coming out. This lead to the next couple of weeks of visiting the hospital almost daily, in some cases twice a day. At the end of each day I would be a bundle of emotions – grief on grief I started to call it. On the morning of Thursday July 16th she passed away with her husband and two sons beside her. The world lost yet another amazing person. This set off another flurry of activity as I set up a meal train and helped the family as they needed throughout the weekend and the week of the funeral. On the afternoon of the 17th a friend posted on Facebook she was going to get a Rhino tattoo. (Rhino was our team name for the bike ride, named after a book Connie received 32 years ago when she first became sick called Rhino Success, about being strong and courageous and CHARGING ON like a Rhino no matter what. When Trisha asked if I would do the tattoo with her… I said yes without hesitation…
Points to Vicki who spotted this on my foot in a picture I posted a couple of days ago in a Morning Meandering. Great eye Vicki! (I’d Rather Be at the Beach) 😉
Three days after the funeral was the Camp Benedict Bike Ride that Connie had created to raise money for Camp Benedict each year. The Camp Board had decided in early July that we would move ahead with the bike ride. So….. that led to a whirlwind of other activity weaving throughout all of this other stuff in July… working on rider count, lining up many volunteers, promoting, planning food for the ride, awards, t – shirts (Connie had already designed this years t shirt), permits, marking the road, etc…. Thank goodness for a great team of helpers! Any hoo…. here for Saturday Snapshot are some of the ride pics…
This is before the ride…. Riders ready!This is my friends Belinda (standing) and Sheila at the day one lunch stopOne of the pit stops had a cool super hero theme and photo booth…. oh we had fun with thatThis is the potatoes that were cooking at Camp… Vicki made a lot of delicious potatoes!Ready to go… day 2Connie’s son Nathan and his girlfriend Audrey rocking the t shirts Connie made this year. A super fun fact – both of Connie’s sons and husband participated in the ride.A DQ stop is always part of day 2!
And… let me just say day 2 was HOT. We were dreaming of riding our bikes right into a lake. Then when passing my friend Amy’s home we popped in to get a drink and wound up in their pool…. yes… in full on bike gear.
.. and that is where memories are made. 🙂
So there it is. That was last Saturday. The ride was a good way to complete a hard hard month and honor my friend Connie. Camp Benedict is a camp for families infected and affected by AIDS. I am proud to be the Vice President of this camp that I have watched change lives for the past 5 years that I have been a part of it and I am sure many years before I became involved. Camp Benedict is a non profit 501C3. If you or anyone you know would like to donate to this camp here is a link:
Today… I think I am laying low. In fact I think I am laying low for the weekend and I am looking forward to it. July was crazy busy and even this past week was filled with Wine and Words activity, a visit from one of Justin’s good friends, and catching up on my yard and home. Books and audio and sitting in the sun are on the agenda.
Book Journey 