Morning Meanderings… CrAcKiNg a really REALLY big book

Published on August 25, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)55 Comments

Some mornings I wake up in a funk and that is pretty much my whole day… there have been quite a few of those lately where my heart is heavy, I have no energy, and I am more than happy not to talk to anyone or go anywhere.

And then…

there are days like today.

I woke up early (3 am) that is not unusual these days. Walked about a bit, stood on the deck in the dark… and back to bed at 3:30 am. Up at 5:30 am and for whatever reason… sad, but energized. I completed a load of laundry, sent emails to the library about window plans, talked to a friend on the phone before she went to work, sent out potential cabin plans to another friend, text a message to another friend about meeting up this week, read emails, and drank a lot of COFFEE.

It is days like these that I see that glimmer of the old me fighting through and knowing that Justin would be cheering me on, “Come on Mom!”, he would say, “I know you go this!” I try… every day… for him.

So I mentioned a BIG book. Yes my book club reads a classic every October. I have insisted on this for years because I think it is important that we attempt the greats (and trust me… some are not so great but still fun to discuss). And this year our vote went to…

Gone With The Wind.

Have you read it? Have you tried to read it? Have you seen the movie?

For me… this is a bucket list book. I don’t like reading about war, or about women in large frilly dresses… but my friend Gail swears by this book. SO MUCH that a couple of years ago she gave me a beautiful hard covered copy for my birthday. That I promptly placed high on a shelf with the promise that someday I would read it.

That day has come.

I cracked that baby open yesterday afternoon and entered Scarlett O’Hara’s world. A world of parties and boys and jealousy and plantations – and that is only the first 59 pages! I have until the second Tuesday in October to finish this book. I will… and for fun, our book club is planing to attempt to make the curtain dresses (I LOVE my book club!) and we will dress the era, eat the food – and possibly go on a hayride after because…

why wouldn’t we?

Anyhoo…. that’s what is happening here. The sun is out for the first time in days. I will finish mowing the lawn, run errands, read a little, and get through one more day.

Sunday Salon… So It Is Like That Is It?

Published on August 23, 2015August 23, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)41 Comments

I am not much of a meme joiner upper but I have always loved this picture (above) hosted by The Caffeinated Reader. It also seems to fit who I am these days, sitting back with maybe not slippers (I prefer flip flops), but definitely in my pajamas a little longer than I usually am these days. Coffee? Check. Newspaper? Well no, but replace that with my lap top and you pretty much have me in the above pic.

So basically, this meme is supposed to reflect on our week, our books, our plans… and well, that is what I kind of do here anyway so here goes.

I have another blissfully low key day here today and I am so glad. While these quiet days are definitely more emotional for me as I have no one to be “on” for… that is ok. He is worth the grief and he will be worth it forever. Every tear. This afternoon I am going to have lunch with one of Justin’s friends who is in town and I am looking forward to that. I know there will be stories, I know there will be tears… but like kindred spirits it is nice to have people in my life who get exactly where I am at and want to hang out with me anyway. ♥

book journey — My support team. Always on stand by.

I am hoping this is me coming back into a good blog routine. I feel that this is a safe place to share not only what I am reading and listening to – but also what I am going through. Thanks to the Morning Meandering being around all these years, my sharing my life is nothing new…. it is different now, but you all knew me then… and thank you for being here now.

Of course there are new books in the house. Now I am not going to post all the books and audio that have come in to my home since I last posted about the books… that would be a bit scary! Instead I grabbed the books that I have not put away yet from my counter and table, the ones that have come in over the last week maybe two.

♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦♠♣♥♦

Pokergeist by Michael Phillips Cash (yes you read that right… I read The After House by him and liked it…plus, this one came with a deck of cards. Yeah… I am a sucker for swag. 😉 )

Unfriended by Rachel Vail (eeps! I do love a good YA read! )

Parchment and Old Lace by Laura Childs (every time this amazing woman writes a book she sends it to me…. good reading for a cool fall evening!)

Unprocessed by Megan Kimble (I love foodie books and this journey of eating unprocessed foods for a year sounds fascinating! I could last maybe a week….)

The Afterlife Academy by Frank L Cole (An MG read not sure how I got this one but my memory is shot these days so I probably signed up for it… MG reads can be fun!)

Until I Find Julian by Patricia Reilly Giff (Another MG not sure how I received it but it looks good!)

History and Hauntings of the Halloween Capital by Roxy Orcutt (This one I picked up at our local book store. I had no idea that the town of Aitkin Minnesota (about 40 miles from me) has been declared by congress to be the Halloween Capital of the World. You would think I would know something like that!)

TITANIC The Great Lakes Connections by Cris Kohl (I purchased this one in Grand Marias Minnesota last week. I do love Minnesota history!)

The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury (It’s Bradbury. ‘Nuf said)

Brown Eyed Girl by Lisa Kleypas (hmmm… a little different for me but we shall see)

This afternoon after the lunch date I am hoping to just READ. I need to sink into a good book. Hope you all have a nice Sunday.

Sheila

Morning Meanderings… I Am Back For The Journey

Published on August 21, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)39 Comments

Still here.

Once again I am surprised how easily I slip away these past months. I just drift out of my normal routine which is often replaced by not much… sorrow, thinking, trying to adjust…

but lately as those of you who know me and know my activities it has been about 7 weeks of preparing for my sons benefit,spending time with a dying friend, a color run event for my son, another hard funeral, a bike ride fund-raiser, followed by the planning of Wine and Words year 3 and then last Thursday we had Wine and Words, our biggest year yet.

I followed all of this up with a day of catching up on things neglected – laundry, household basics, and mowing the lawn… and then on Saturday morning…

I drove 3 hours to our cabin with a few friends and stayed until Tuesday evening.

Usually after Wine and Words Justin and I would go to the cabin and chill for the weekend eating junk food, playing board games, and watching movies… LAZY stuff. I knew this would be a hard weekend as Justin and I had talked about this weekend in March about how we were excited to just hang out again. Instead… in this newness, I went with friends and we did watch moves and eat junk food, but we also went shopping, exploring, biking…. it was more active and it was nice.

The last couple of days since returning home I have been pretty tired. Emotionally and physically from the past 6 weeks of pretty much none stop activity while dealing with my great grief. Yesterday I took a long nap. This morning I woke up at 5 am stayed up until 6:30 am… went back to bed and got up again at 9 am. I am starting to feel a bit of energy returning and have no plans over the weekend which I am thankful for… I can set the pace.

As for this world of Book Journey – I am hopeful that I am back. My reading has been slow, but I do have reviews to write. I miss hanging out here with all of you and I am looking forward to getting back into the routine of visiting all of you and seeing what you are reading as well.

Still here. Still hanging on.

Morning Meanderings… COFFEE and Thoughts of Justin

Published on August 9, 2015August 9, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)31 Comments

Sunday.

It is quiet in the house. Al left around 8 am to look at job sites. I am here sitting with COFFEE cup catching up on a few emails before I start my day with a visit to my aunt and probably mowing the lawn.

Even the dogs are having a restful morning.

My thoughts are never far from Justin and as you can imagine I find him everywhere in everything. Last evening, I brought the doors out for Wine and Words to repaint. The doors, are a set of doors that we picked up three years ago at a Re-Store (used furniture and hardware store that raises money for Habitat For Humanity). The doors we hinged together and I painted with a chalk board paint. In paint markers I wrote across the top of the doors

What books opened doors for you?

Guests loved this. Authors took pictures of the doors to use the idea at future events. And the doors… the doors became a staple of our event. Every year I repaint them and start anew.

So… anyway…

I brought the doors out to paint yesterday and when I opened them on the back side I found this…

As you can imagine… tears everywhere. My son wrote this at last years event. Perfectly up in a corner where it would be easy to leave on the doors. And of course you know… I did not paint over it.

It is these little things I seem to stumble upon day to day. A note, a memory, a card in the mail, or… even this package that came to my house this week…

This package came from a company that Justin created the logo for. Out of the blue… they sent this lovely package and a letter.

Right? Tears. Beautiful tears though. My son is loved. My heart… is full of the amazing people that were in his life. When he says above that Harry Potter helped him understand miracles like magic, I smile… he was magic. He was my miracle.

This is what grief looks like in writing.

Gah. I digress.

This was supposed to be a happy post. And it is… every day I fight to move forward trying to resemble “me”. Whoever I am now.

On a bookish note, I have been thinking more about What Are You Reading, the Monday meme. I think I will bring it back the first Sunday in September. I was going to start last week but was too tired. Next Sunday I plan to be at our cabin and I have no internet there so don’t want to stop and start and stop. I am not reading much due to the fullness of July and then the two events – Camp Benedict Bike Ride and now Wine and Words. Every day I am working on something but books will come back – that is the beauty of them… they wait for us.

Saturday Snapshot…. It’s Happening.

Published on August 8, 2015August 8, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)19 Comments

Well I certainly did not plan on being MIA this past week here, but I see my last post was a week ago. A week on heavy library activity and we are down to the wire planning for Wine and Words. Lots of busy volunteers out there making the final steps happen. This week I worked on the table brochure, seating arrangements with my friend Sue, lots of email communications, sponsor information, phone calls, ticket sales, communications to our venue, and tomorrow myself and the Co-Chair Gail will hopefully take care of the final silent auction items which we are planning on a good 4-6 hours at the library doing that.

Whew.

Anyhoo…

This week at the Brainerd Public Library a lot of things were happening fast.

We got the word that the cement people were coming to lay out the plan for the benches and give the bid.
The Library Director and I went and layed out the plan for the benches and where they would go.
When they came the bid was a good one and they said they would be able to do the job on Friday. (Yesterday)
Friday!!!!
We hit “go mode” and bought materials to put stone around two of the trees in the area the benches would go to add a nice park feel to the area.
I dug up hostas from my own gardens because I loved the symbolism of having the plants being from our home where my son’s bench was going to be placed.
Thursday we were able to work on it a little bit in the morning and then we were rained out.
Friday morning we finished the hosta project (including a bonus space because we had extra stones) and the cement people did their thing.
The benches will go in early this next week.

A little background on the benches for those of you who are not familiar with my story of the past 4 months…. when my 24 year old son was killed in a car accident in April of this year, the book community did an AMAZING thing. A group of bookish friends who I have connected with through here, started up a bench fund so a bench could be placed at our local library in memory of my son.

My heart… runneth over.

This bench led to the Friends of the Brainerd Public Library moving forward on something we had talked about over the last couple of years, and that was putting some nice outdoor benches outside the Library. The Friends, on top of what the book community started with Justin’s bench, tossed in an additional $10,000 so we could add a bench on both sides of Justin’s as well as an octagon picnic table, a heavy duty garbage can, and two more benches for the Children’s outdoor area of the library.

I will post pictures once the benches are in place. I have seen Justin’s bench and it is BEAUTIFUL.

book journey, Sheila DeChantal, Justin DeChantal, Brainerd Public LIbrary — The two trees that we planted the hostas around.

Mckay Concrete, DeChantal, Book Journey, Brainerd Public LIbrary — Preparing for the benches

Brainerd Public Library, Book Journey, Sheila DeChantal — Prepping the Children’s Area ( we had planned on two benches but changed our mind and had them prep for 4. We will order two more benches.

Brainerd Public LIbrary, Book Journey — The moving of “Ben” the old bench that has sat in the bench planning area since the library was moved to this location.

Brainerd Public Library — Jolene the library director working on the third “bonus” hosta bed.

As you can imagine, this whole project has been bitter sweet. I love being a part of it and digging my hands into the dirt knowing that this will become a place where people will sit and read, and talk, and enjoy. For those of you who contributed to making this happen… I can not thank you enough. Even now, 4 months in I still cry every day. This bench… this project means so much.

Thank you.

I am posting this to Saturday Snaphot, where people all over the world can add pictures of what is happening in their lives. ♥

Saturday Snapshot… The Month, The Bike Ride… and oh yeah… The Tattoo

Published on August 1, 2015August 1, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)22 Comments

https://bookjourney.wordpress.com/ — Camp Benedict Bike Ride 2015: L: Belinda, Sheila W, Me, and Farrah

I have not been a part of Saturday snapshot for well… lets say a long time. Today seemed like a good day to do this one again. July was a crazy mess. On top of my own grief, my friend Connie went into the hospital on July 3rd and by the 5th we were told she would not be coming out. This lead to the next couple of weeks of visiting the hospital almost daily, in some cases twice a day. At the end of each day I would be a bundle of emotions – grief on grief I started to call it. On the morning of Thursday July 16th she passed away with her husband and two sons beside her. The world lost yet another amazing person. This set off another flurry of activity as I set up a meal train and helped the family as they needed throughout the weekend and the week of the funeral. On the afternoon of the 17th a friend posted on Facebook she was going to get a Rhino tattoo. (Rhino was our team name for the bike ride, named after a book Connie received 32 years ago when she first became sick called Rhino Success, about being strong and courageous and CHARGING ON like a Rhino no matter what. When Trisha asked if I would do the tattoo with her… I said yes without hesitation…

Points to Vicki who spotted this on my foot in a picture I posted a couple of days ago in a Morning Meandering. Great eye Vicki! (I’d Rather Be at the Beach) 😉

Three days after the funeral was the Camp Benedict Bike Ride that Connie had created to raise money for Camp Benedict each year. The Camp Board had decided in early July that we would move ahead with the bike ride. So….. that led to a whirlwind of other activity weaving throughout all of this other stuff in July… working on rider count, lining up many volunteers, promoting, planning food for the ride, awards, t – shirts (Connie had already designed this years t shirt), permits, marking the road, etc…. Thank goodness for a great team of helpers! Any hoo…. here for Saturday Snapshot are some of the ride pics…

This is before the ride.... Riders ready! — This is before the ride…. Riders ready!

THis is my friends Belinda (standing) and Sheila at the day one lunch stop — This is my friends Belinda (standing) and Sheila at the day one lunch stop

One of the pit stops had a cool super hero theme and photo booth.... oh we had fun with that — One of the pit stops had a cool super hero theme and photo booth…. oh we had fun with that

This is the potatoes that were cooking at Camp... Vicki made a lot of delicious potatoes! — This is the potatoes that were cooking at Camp… Vicki made a lot of delicious potatoes!

Ready to go... day 2 — Ready to go… day 2

Connie's son Nathan and his girlfreind Audrey rocking the t shirts Connie made this year. A super fun fact - both of Connie's sons and husband participated in the ride. — Connie’s son Nathan and his girlfriend Audrey rocking the t shirts Connie made this year. A super fun fact – both of Connie’s sons and husband participated in the ride.

And… let me just say day 2 was HOT. We were dreaming of riding our bikes right into a lake. Then when passing my friend Amy’s home we popped in to get a drink and wound up in their pool…. yes… in full on bike gear.

book journey, farrah mckinney, Sheila DeChantal — .. and that is where memories are made. 🙂

So there it is. That was last Saturday. The ride was a good way to complete a hard hard month and honor my friend Connie. Camp Benedict is a camp for families infected and affected by AIDS. I am proud to be the Vice President of this camp that I have watched change lives for the past 5 years that I have been a part of it and I am sure many years before I became involved. Camp Benedict is a non profit 501C3. If you or anyone you know would like to donate to this camp here is a link:

Today… I think I am laying low. In fact I think I am laying low for the weekend and I am looking forward to it. July was crazy busy and even this past week was filled with Wine and Words activity, a visit from one of Justin’s good friends, and catching up on my yard and home. Books and audio and sitting in the sun are on the agenda.

Morning Meanderings… STRENGTH

Published on July 30, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)15 Comments

Thursday.

Isn’t it funny how even when you think things will slow down they do not? I was sure this week was going to be a quieter one. Monday was filled with library activity but I thought Tuesday I would just relax and nope – instead I was cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, working on Wine and Words stuff, gathering items for the silent auction…

well, Wednesday I thought… Wednesday will be slower…. but no, I spent hours at the library prepping more baskets for the silent auction, bank errands, thank you card mailings, then went shopping (why is it that everything seems to run out at once…. body wash, facial cream, deodorant, bar soap….)…

I came home and hit melt down.

There was a lovely card in the mail yesterday (thank you Kris!). As I read it the tears rolled down my face. The card told me I was a strong person, that they were in awe of what I have accomplished these past few hard hard hard months and how I have been able to some how keep going.

I don’t even know myself how I do it…

I do know that being strong was never a choice. I have to be. I hear that a lot, about what a strong person I am. I feel like a weak mess, but I guess because I get out of bed each morning and try to find some form of my former self is a strength quality. Honestly, I believe the strength comes from the wonderful people who surround my family. The calls, the cards, the kind words, the things I know my son was so proud of me for being involved in – I cant stop doing.

I can’t.

I go on for me… and I go on for him. Inside… I am a mosh pit.

Yesterday evening I went to a friend home and hung out on her deck with another friend. This was nice. We caught up on each others lives, and talked until the sun went down and the mosquitoes drove us inside and then we talked some more.

This is where my strength comes from. My support team of friends, connections, and family are like a battery pack of love. I recharge….

and

I try again.

book journey, sheila dechantal, laura campbell, amy price — Left/back: Amy, me Front: Laura

Morning (nope!) Afternoon Meanderings… Lets Talk About What You Are Reading

Published on July 28, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)9 Comments

I feel….

wiped out.

Drained.

A long weekend with the bike ride, a long week with the funeral prior to that, a long two weeks of my friend Connie in the hospital before that…. and yesterday a full morning of Wine and Words prep meeting and our last Author of the summer.

Exhausted comes to mind. Emotionally and physically.

A few people have inquired about the meme that I have ran since early 2010, Where Are You Reading. Yes, it is coming back. I hope this Sunday. Through everything of this year I hardly remember what day it is. My final really big event for the year is Wine and Words and I am hopeful that life will level out at that time. Currently I feel “spikey”…. I can function for events and for people, but then I hit a grief wall when I have down time. I can make myself be “ON” if I need to be… but I pay for it.

I only have a couple more weeks of needing to be ON.

The bike ride, was fun. A fair turn out and I think we brought in some new riders. I will talk about this more for Saturday Snapshot. In the meantime… here is a little sample:

I am listening to audio and hope to pick up a book soon. A few good ones have come my way I want to start 🙂

Morning Meanderings… So, About That Bookish Connection

Published on July 23, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)14 Comments

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”

~Alice IN Wonderland

Where oh where have I been?

It is a great question…

As I mentioned on Saturday my good friend Connie has passed away. This bit of events put me in a tailspin of activity. On Saturday we started the Meal Train. That evening we spent time with friends at a cook out. Sunday friends came into town to help me with the plans for the upcoming bike ride (July 25th-26th), Monday we had the visitation, Tuesday the funeral, Wednesday the burial… and in-between all of that library meetings, Bike Ride prep, Wine and Words planning….

Ufta.

So when I received an email from my bookish friend Kim (Sophisticated Dorkiness) and roommate year one of the Book Expo, that she was coming to my home town and could we do dinner on Tuesday – I immediately said yes.

Of course… when I said yes, I was exhausted, and thought she meant next Tuesday….. 😉

When Tuesday afternoon rolled around and I received a text from Kim that she was on her way I had to really think about what to do. It was the day of the funeral. I was EXHAUSTED. I had come home around 2 pm, put on my yoga pants and a comfy t-shirt and took a nap. I had no intention of going out again and was looking forward to grilling with my hubby as I had not seen him the last two days.

But… I also really wanted to see Kim.

I counter offered, explained my mix up and asked if it would be possible to do breakfast or supper on Wednesday instead. Breakfast it was.

It was great seeing her again. We talked about books – or for both of us lately, lack there of…. audio (which we both love), we exchanges titles that we enjoyed and just caught up on life.

A cool bonus to this whole Blogging experience is that you can find friends in almost any state. Since l met Kim in 2010 when she was one of my roommates for the Book Expo, we have connected on other events as well, and yesterdays meet up was awesome.

Today – I am hoping to keep life to a low simmer. I have a BIG weekend coming up with the camp ride for Connie. Tomorrow we will run around and get all the final details in place.

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Morning Meanderings…. Words Are Sometimes Not Enough

Published on July 18, 2015 by Sheila (Book Journey)39 Comments

I almost want to say, “welcome to the sad/depressing blog Book Journey. I may or may not talk about books. I will be your host today.”

Ugh.

I last posted on Thursday morning talking about the business of life even when the last thing you want to be is busy – the “to do’s” are still there. Shortly after I posted, I was making muffins to take to the hospital to see my friend Connie when I received the call.

Connie had passed away peacefully in the night.

There are moments in our life when the world seems to stand still. That moment would be one of them. Everything became quiet as I absorbed the loss.

Another loss.

Another big one.

Even though we knew it was coming, it is still difficult to take in. And suddenly – my busy post –

didn’t matter.

Instead I spent my day trying to help out the family where I could. Putting together a meal train, being available for whatever and putting to use what I have learned about grief these past few months into action. My son… and now my friend….

my heart stacks the grief on grief.

Left to right: Nancy, my son Justin, and Connie at last years Wine and Words event in August. It is so crazy to have two of the three gone.

Anyway.

I really do plan to talk about something fun one of these days soon. I have reviews to write, I have the Queen Event to share. Not all in my life is overwhelmingly sad, there are small breaks of happiness. Happy actually seems to strong a word. Maybe thankfulness is better… when I am surrounded by good friends, sharing what should be a good time, and knowing that I am surrounded by angels…

in Heaven as well as on earth.

Enjoy this weekend. We will be at a friend’s house this evening grilling and planning a trip in January that at this time I have no interest in whatsoever but trying to find a way to move a bit forward in the tiniest of ways. Tomorrow I will start working on the baskets for Wine and Words with my friend Gail,and then next week will be filled with things every day as I celebrate my friend’s life early in the week and by the end of the week take part in a two-day bike ride raising money for the non profit she loved, Camp Benedict in her honor.

Life keeps on moving. There is a new layer to me that sees how fragile everything is. Love unconditionally. See the good in everyone and everything. My friend Connie had that gift. So did my son Justin.