Morning Meanderings…. Words Are Sometimes Not Enough

meme

I almost want to say, “welcome to the sad/depressing blog Book Journey.  I may or may not talk about books.  I will be your host today.”

Ugh.

I last posted on Thursday morning talking about the business of life even when the last thing you want to be is busy – the “to do’s” are still there.  Shortly after I posted, I was making muffins to take to the hospital to see my friend Connie when I received the call.

Connie had passed away peacefully in the night.

There are moments in our life when the world seems to stand still.  That moment would be one of them.  Everything became quiet as I absorbed the loss.

Another loss.

Another big one.

Even though we knew it was coming, it is still difficult to take in.  And suddenly – my busy post –

didn’t matter.

Instead I spent my day trying to help out the family where I could.  Putting together a meal train, being available for whatever and putting to use what I have learned about grief these past few months into action.  My son… and now my friend….

my heart stacks the grief on grief.

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Left to right: Nancy, my son Justin, and Connie at last years Wine and Words event in August. It is so crazy to have two of the three gone.

Anyway.

I really do plan to talk about something fun one of these days soon.  I have reviews to write, I have the Queen Event to share.  Not all in my life is overwhelmingly sad, there are small breaks of happiness.  Happy actually seems to strong a word.  Maybe thankfulness is better… when I am surrounded by good friends, sharing what should be a good time, and knowing that I am surrounded by angels…

in Heaven as well as on earth.

Enjoy this weekend.  We will be at a friend’s house this evening grilling and planning a trip in January that at this time I have no interest in whatsoever but trying to find a way to move a bit forward in the tiniest of ways.  Tomorrow I will start working on the baskets for Wine and Words with my friend Gail,and then next week will be filled with things every day as I celebrate my friend’s life early in the week and by the end of the week take part in a two-day bike ride raising money for the non profit she loved, Camp Benedict in her honor.

Life keeps on moving.  There is a new layer to me that sees how fragile everything is.  Love unconditionally.  See the good in everyone and everything.  My friend Connie had that gift.  So did my son Justin.

About Sheila (Book Journey)

Bookaholic * Audio Book Fan *Bike Rider *Rollerblader *Adventure Seeker *Want To Be Runner*Coffee lover *Fitness Fan * Movie junkie

Posted on July 18, 2015, in Meanderings and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments.

  1. Your post is sad but the sentiment at the end is so true and lovely. My heart aches for you even more today.

  2. Sometimes life seems to much to handle. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Connie and her friends and family.

  3. My heart goes out to you. There are no words that can make this time better, just know that so many people care for you and are thinking of you.

  4. Sheila, I don’t even compare myself and the family members that I loved and are now gone with your recent losses. However, if you had said to me 7 years ago that by the middle of 2014 both your parents and your younger sister will be gone, I’d have been…well, I don’t know what I’d have been. And, honestly, all 3 of them lived beyond what their poor bodies could handle – didn’t make it any less sorrowful for me and their other loved ones – but still. I have some sense of your state of mind. And in the time that has passed, which has not been easy, especially some days, I’ve come to know that I loved each of them so fiercely. I miss them every single day. I believe I’ll see them again. They are still with me in spirit. I don’t have regrets because I told them how much they meant to me. And I also tell the loved ones I have in my life now that I love them – each and every time I see them. That’s all. Keeping you in my prayers because that’s all I can do. Thinking of you. Sorry this was so long. You take care, please.

    • Thank you for sharing Kay. You are a kindred spirit. By the time I was 29 both my parents and sister were gone as well. Grief for whatever reason seems to be a part of my DNA. I try to make sense of all the loss – which sounds as though you have had as well. Hugs to you my friend.

  5. I send my love to you, pass it on to whoever needs it. There’s plenty more there are.

  6. Sheila, as you know, though this blog was generally about books and fun and positive life experiences, part of life is this–this torturous, unavoidable fact of deepest loss 😦

    Try to realize that your need to share, your willingness to share, is just as valuable–if not even more so–than your sharing of the happy times. I feel privileged to get to share in your life in this way, however distant, to feel and grieve along with you.

    Without question, life has that way of making sure you don’t forget it does go on for those of us still here. As broken as you feel, do realize that you have an inner strength that will carry you through. And, of course, God is always at hand with His…
    Hugs…

  7. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings…I have experienced how talking and writing about the sadness, as well as the happiness, helps enrich each day. Enjoy the moments of happiness…another “layer” to experience.

  8. I feel so in sync when you said you feel you have a new layer of fragile. I feel the same way. Time did stand still for me also and it does remind us how fragile life can be.

  9. Thank you for reminding me about living each day fully…

  10. Condolences on theost of your friend.

  11. Prayers and thoughts to you Sheila. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I know this is a hard time for you, so I ask God to be with you and your family as well as Connies 🙂 x

  12. I think the best thing about blogging is sharing our voice and our thoughts AND being authentic.

    I mostly read blogs by people I connect with – their writing, their thinking etc. I don’t want false happiness or hope.

  13. Sending you hugs, Sheila. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.

  14. So sorry Shelia that you have been hot with yet another painful loss. Life just isn’t fair as we all know. Hugs

  15. “There is a new layer to me that sees how fragile everything is. Love unconditionally. See the good in everyone and everything. My friend Connie had that gift. So did my son Justin.”

    This right here. Thank you so much for those words today.

  16. Sheila, my heart is heavy for you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend Connie. You have too much grief to process. Sending prayers, big hugs, and love your way.

  17. You are doing fine. Remember you are fragile, but strong. Your strength will take care of itself, but your fragility needs tender loving care. It’s a long and difficult road, but it’s not impossible. You’ve been thrown another hurdle on top of a gigantic one.If you need an ear, call me. Hugs.

  18. Thinking about you lots. It does not seem fair all the enormous loss you have to carry. Look after yourself and if it helps to let go in the block, then do that. We understand and feel with you. Lots of love from across the Ocean.

  19. Hugs and more hugs to you, my friend.

  20. I think you can talk about whatever you want and we will all be here to listen no matter what it is. Hang in there. It’s just to much hurt for one person to bear.

  21. Sheila,

    Sorry about the loss of your friend. You have had a lot to cope with this year. I am thinking about you.

  22. So sorry to read that your friend has passed. I’m sure it really does seem like too much. There is the saying “God only gives us what we can handle” but I’m not always sure that’s true. Sometimes it just is too much.

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