Isn’t it funny how even when you think things will slow down they do not? I was sure this week was going to be a quieter one. Monday was filled with library activity but I thought Tuesday I would just relax and nope – instead I was cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, working on Wine and Words stuff, gathering items for the silent auction…
well, Wednesday I thought… Wednesday will be slower…. but no, I spent hours at the library prepping more baskets for the silent auction, bank errands, thank you card mailings, then went shopping (why is it that everything seems to run out at once…. body wash, facial cream, deodorant, bar soap….)…
I came home and hit melt down.
There was a lovely card in the mail yesterday (thank you Kris!). As I read it the tears rolled down my face. The card told me I was a strong person, that they were in awe of what I have accomplished these past few hard hard hard months and how I have been able to some how keep going.
I don’t even know myself how I do it…
I do know that being strong was never a choice. I have to be. I hear that a lot, about what a strong person I am. I feel like a weak mess, but I guess because I get out of bed each morning and try to find some form of my former self is a strength quality. Honestly, I believe the strength comes from the wonderful people who surround my family. The calls, the cards, the kind words, the things I know my son was so proud of me for being involved in – I cant stop doing.
I go on for me… and I go on for him. Inside… I am a mosh pit.
Yesterday evening I went to a friend home and hung out on her deck with another friend. This was nice. We caught up on each others lives, and talked until the sun went down and the mosquitoes drove us inside and then we talked some more.
This is where my strength comes from. My support team of friends, connections, and family are like a battery pack of love. I recharge….
I try again.