Morning Meanderings… STRENGTH

meme

Thursday.

Isn’t it funny how even when you think things will slow down they do not?  I was sure this week was going to be a quieter one.  Monday was filled with library activity but I thought Tuesday I would just relax and nope – instead I was cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, working on Wine and Words stuff, gathering items for the silent auction…

well, Wednesday I thought… Wednesday will be slower…. but no, I spent hours at the library prepping more baskets for the silent auction, bank errands, thank you card mailings, then went shopping (why is it that everything seems to run out at once…. body wash, facial cream, deodorant, bar soap….)…

I came home and hit melt down.

There was a lovely card in the mail yesterday (thank you Kris!).  As I read it the tears rolled down my face.  The card told me I was a strong person, that they were in awe of what I have accomplished these past few hard hard hard months and how I have been able to some how keep going.

I don’t even know myself how I do it…

I do know that being strong was never a choice.  I have to be.  I hear that a lot, about what a strong person I am.  I feel like a weak mess, but I guess because I get out of bed each morning and try to find some form of my former self is a strength quality.  Honestly, I believe the strength comes from the wonderful people who surround my family.  The calls, the cards, the kind words, the things I know my son was so proud of me for being involved in – I cant stop doing.

I can’t.

I go on for me… and I go on for him.  Inside… I am a mosh pit.

Yesterday evening I went to a friend home and hung out on her deck with another friend.  This was nice.  We caught up on each others lives, and talked until the sun went down and the mosquitoes drove us inside and then we talked some more.

This is where my strength comes from.  My support team of friends, connections, and family are like a battery pack of love.  I recharge….

and

I try again.

book journey, sheila dechantal, laura campbell, amy price

Left/back: Amy, me Front: Laura

About Sheila (Book Journey)

Bookaholic * Audio Book Fan *Bike Rider *Rollerblader *Adventure Seeker *Runner*Coffee lover *Fitness Fan * Movie junkie

Posted on July 30, 2015, in Meanderings and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Without friends and family life would be unbearable! Glad you got to spend time with Amy and Laura and catch up.

    Is that a tat I see on your foot?

  2. Andrea ( aka rokinrev)

    ….and here I sit…fuming over my pastor’s “it always seems like he’s on” vacation schedule and my latest “I ordered it…now where is it”? Fiasco with B and N….and then I get your post, reminding me not to be so focussed on myself and pray for you and yours. Please, be kind to yourself

  3. And that is all you can do…and when you need to crash…you do that too…I have never even really met you and I think about you…take care…

  4. You are strong but even the strongest person has moments of weakness. I think about you each and every day and wish I could hug you in person.

  5. I think part of your solace comes from the beautiful writing you do. It is so powerful in its truth and pure emotion. I continue to keep you in my prayers and hope that you continue to feel the comfort and love from those around you.

  6. Don’t sell yourself short. Just getting out of bed is a huge deal. I do worry though that you haven’t had a chance to just let it all out. It seemed like you went right into busy mode, gotta get it done mode. I know when I dad died I did that too but then a week in I just collapsed. Stayed in bed. Ate what I wanted, and slept so much I thought I’d never wake up. Then one day, I did feel as if I turned a corner. I don’t know. I think it’s okay for you to give in to it once in awhile.

  7. I definitely agree that the friends and family that surround us in hard times help give us strength….but the core of strength lies within each of us, and we just need to nurture it and use it every day, just as you are doing.

  8. No matter what you feel like on the inside, you are an inspiration to so many of us, especially for your honesty about how you are feeling!

  9. Sheila, I understand. Without family, friends, and even strangers to support us, cheer us, and sometimes lift us up, none of us would make it. I kept busy doing what I always did after Greg passed away, often with tears running down my face. It takes strength to get up and go on. I’ve known those who couldn’t find it within themselves to do that. Instead they stayed in bed, became even more depressed, and avoided contact with others. You are doing it the best way you can with family and friends to help you. Some days you will crash, and those are tough days to get through, but you garner your strength, and get up and live, just as Justin would expect you to do. Hugs, my dear friend. You are in my heart and in my thoughts.

  10. You are definitely blessed to have such a wonderful support staff. But I’m certain they are all there for you because you are the kind of person who has always been there for them.

  11. Thank God you have these precious people in your life 🙂

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