Tag: Morning Meanderings

Talk about hitting the ground running…

Over this past weekend we completed the Spring Friends of the Library book sale.  Yesterday I jumped into full Gatsby mode – picking up the materials we need to make the fascinators, a planning meeting, trivia questions prepped, promoting, props for the photo station, and then last night a few of us met at the library to sew and put together the fascinators.

 

When I call this the Gatsby trials… I do not mean “a formal examination of evidence before a judge, and typically before a jury, in order to decide guilt in a case of criminal or civil proceedings”.   What I mean is:  test (something, especially a new product) to assess its suitability or performance.  We are seeing if this event is a good fit for our community and worth our time and efforts as a non profit.  Our goal is to reach out beyond our current influence and I think by the names I have seen on the guest list…. we are doing just that!

This week… is all detail work.  Finalizing volunteers, talking with all of those involved, and making sure we are ready to roll….or I guess swing, would be the more appropriate word.  We need to be ready to swing. 🙂

 

 

Oh Sunday!  It was so nice to get up this morning and not have to run out the door.  This past week has been crazy busy with the spring book sale for the library.  We moved it to a local mall this time that had a large unrented space that used to be a book store.  It was perfect!  We get so many book donations that our room at the library just gets too crowded.

On day one I arrived at 6:30 am with lawn chairs, per tradition.  The sale opens at 9 am however years a go a friend and I thought it would be funny to show up hours early like book groupies.  It became a trend.  Now at the sale at the library I need to show up around 4:30 am to be first in line.  Its a little lot crazy, but a lot of fun too.

Amy and I took our traditional picture.

By the time the sale opened at 9 am we had an incredible amount of people waiting to get in.  I recorded the line on my phone, and spent a lot of time yesterday trying to put that video here on the blog with no luck.  It is on Facebook and its only 40 seconds so please check it out if you have not seen it yet.  Here it is.

Usually I shop the sale with everyone else but this year I was so emotional seeing all of these book lovers rushing in to pick up second hand books for 50 cents that I started to cry.  Instead I took a few pictures and then went right to work helping people check out.

We had a record setting day.  Usually our first day sales are around $1700.00.  On Thursday, the first day of the sale we made $4200.00.  That is a lot of 50 cent books!

Due to my not shopping, by the time I did get a chance to look at books I walked away with my smallest pile ever from the sale:

As for books that made their way into my home this week (not by book sale):

Some pretty exciting titles there!

Today other than a quick commitment to go pick up around the sale area for an hour or so, I am laying low.  Listening to a little audio ( The Dorito Effect) and maybe I will read a bit too.   Friday is our Gatsby event and it will be a busy week of preparing for that so today – I am slowing it down to a crawl.

Just for today.

I have a picture file in my computer named “Justin”.  It is all the pictures that I have from friends postings on-line that I have copied and saved in my file.  There are over 500 pictures.

I am Gollum.

Everything…. is my precious.

It has been a while since I have added anything to this file.  While friends are still posting pictures and talking about him (thank you thank you thank you) they are mostly pictures I already have.

Until yesterday.

The Honduras Team is back in Honduras.  This is a trip that Justin would have been on and he would have been so excited to return to Honduras and those kids.  He had just returned last March for his 5th time going and we had a long talk on how much this trip had impacted him.  He was already talking about this years trip.

Yesterday this was posted on-line:

This is the plaque that is on the building that was dedicated in Justin’s memory.  It is so beautiful.  He would have loved this connection to the kids.

It is 11 months today.  I can hardly believe that.  This picture of the plaque somehow seems like wonderful timing.

 

Today I drive to St Paul.  I am on the Minnesota Literary Landmark committee and we are discussing this years placement over lunch.  As much as I would love to stay home curled up in my own grief, going is probably the better choice.  It is hard to keep going with such a large piece of your life missing, but I continue to do it because I know he would want me to. ♥

Good morning.  MMMMMM….. Coffee.  Hang on.

Had to get a refill.

That’s better.

I seen a link on Facebook yesterday afternoon about the 20 best books we should be reading this spring.  Did you see it?

There are some good looking books in this group!  The post was originally made by Redbook.  I have to admit however, I instantly wondered how they are on audio.  😛

It is getting to be that time of year for me.  Our Spring Library Book Sale is this next week.  The week after is our Great Gatsby event.  We are putting together a benefit event for my son at the end of April….

life gets BUSY.

I have said it many times, but I will say it again, I probably listen to audio 4 to one over books.  At least.  I can listen to  audio in the morning while I get ready, in my car while I travel, at home while I cook and clean, and while I work on a project like painting or picture albums.  I love it and I am always looking for great audio.

Yesterday I finished listening to Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes and narrated by the oh-so-amazing-I-want-him-to-read-the-newspaper-to-me  the #isitwrongtoloveakiller #Iamsoamazedbycreepyjoe #Carolinekepnesbooksrockedmyworld #cansantinofortananarratemylife….  basically I am jonesing for more great audio.

Ok you get the drift.  I can not be the only person who has actually stocked narrators to find out what else they have narrated so I can listen to them again.  IE.  Wil Wheaton.  *sigh*

Ok… I digress.  What I am super interested in is knowing if any of the “Must Read This Spring” list has been listened to on audio. Is there another hot audio book I need to listen to?    I need to download an audio for my phone today and I have been spoiled by what I have just listened to.  Watch for my review of Hidden Bodies later today.

Off to the library and a coffee date (yes more coffee!).

 

Yesterday I took a call.

A good friend was asking my opinion on what I would like to do as the one year anniversary approaches.

One year?

My tummy got that sick feeling – you know the one, where you are seized with fear or anxiety.  How can it be getting close to one year?  It’s not like I don’t know.  I do.  I know every single day and it amazes me how much today… is a lot like day one. I am trapped.  I am at a loss for which way to turn or what I should do doing or how I possibly find a solid way to go on.

My eyes are constantly filled with tears.  I have cried more than I have ever thought possible.  I look around and think everything has changed. 

And it is true.  Everything has.

I don’t talk about it so much out loud any more because I know people have no idea what to do with someone who is still at this level of grief all of these months in.  I don’t blame them…. I have to wonder what I would do for a friend if I was on the other side of this.  I have some ideas, but I had to walk this side of the road to know.

I would say if you know someone going through something like this here are some things to maybe do:

1.  Invite them to something low key to get them out of the house.  By low key, I don’t mean a party, or a place with lots of talking happy people – but maybe take a walk together, go to a movie, have lunch in a quiet restaurant,  take a little road trip,  invite them to help you with a project OR offer to come over and help them with a project (painting a room, planting flowers, etc…)  Spend a little time with them.
2. Call or send the occasional card.  One of my big fears is that as time has stopped for me… it hasn’t for the rest of the world and I do not want my son to be forgotten.  Let them know you are thinking of them. It is still appropriate and appreciated to ask how the person is doing today. 10+ months in, I still can not answer the how am I doing question but I can say how I am doing today.  Knowing that people acknowledge (not ignore) that you still hurt means a lot.
3. Understand that if that person says no to do something with you do not take it personally.  For myself, it is hard to put myself back out there.  I prefer things that I can do in a few hours and then return home. I prefer the sanctuary of my home.  Meet them where they are at, they will appreciate it.
4. If you are a praying person, please pray for them.  It is indeed the power of prayer and friendship that has brought me this far.

For myself, I guard my heart.  I have learned what situations will bring on waves of grief so I need to watch what I take on and what I should at this time avoid. Everyone’s situation is different.  10 months for me is nothing.  I am still very raw. No one has to understand this, they don’t have to.  I have to.

 

A sweet package came in the mail yesterday from a girl I know who lives out of state now.

The book is Through The Eyes of A Lion: Facing Impossible Pain, Finding Incredible Power.  In the early days and weeks I was sent quite a few grief related books.  Most of them I was not ready for and I put them on a shelf to look at later.  There were (and are) some steps I just find too hard to take; certain situations I know will overwhelm me with grief  so I am careful how much I take on.

This book however, seems like perfect timing.  I mentioned above I am in this internal struggle of grief and trying to take a positive step forward.  There is something about still being on this earth and he is not that breaks me every day.  It is so difficult to try to BE and DO when I still so clearly can see what we had BEEN and what we had DONE together as mother and son.  It zaps my energy.  A new friend told me a few months ago that I wear an incredible mask.  I took offense to that thinking I am about as real as they come… yet in recent weeks I think perhaps she is right.  I have to put on a mask to go and be outside of these walls.  I have to smile and talk and push ahead so they do not see the underlying depth of grief.  And maybe that is how people do it.  Maybe as self taught as I am in this new world, I am only repeating what those who have gone on this path before me have already done.  Perhaps… it is time to open up a book.  This book.  Thank you Wanda.

And thank you readers of Book Journey.  This space is like an online home to me.  I feel safe to speak here.  If you came to this site, you came to visit me and for that I am forever grateful.

♥

 

Sunday.

*sigh*

The weekends go so fast.

I have made my hubby peanut butter french toast, painted my toenails, stacked up the books of the week for this post, and am now sitting at the kitchen table with COFFEE CUP and watching the snow fall gently outside the window.  This season always makes me sad.  I long for spring.

Books.

SOLAR SYSTEM

WEATHER

Left Behind

The Goblin’s Puzzle

The Eye Of Midnight

the girl who stayed

The Return Of The Witch

I’m Glad About You

River Road

Hundred Year Walk

The Tree In The Courtyard

MOONHORSE

The Opposite Zoo

 

BIG book week!

I have been receiving many beautiful children’s books that I need to start being better at reviewing.  Perhaps today will be one of those days…. the snow… the warm house.  Definitely a book day.