It is quiet in the house. Al left around 8 am to look at job sites. I am here sitting with COFFEE cup catching up on a few emails before I start my day with a visit to my aunt and probably mowing the lawn.
Even the dogs are having a restful morning.
My thoughts are never far from Justin and as you can imagine I find him everywhere in everything. Last evening, I brought the doors out for Wine and Words to repaint. The doors, are a set of doors that we picked up three years ago at a Re-Store (used furniture and hardware store that raises money for Habitat For Humanity). The doors we hinged together and I painted with a chalk board paint. In paint markers I wrote across the top of the doors
What books opened doors for you?
Guests loved this. Authors took pictures of the doors to use the idea at future events. And the doors… the doors became a staple of our event. Every year I repaint them and start anew.
I brought the doors out to paint yesterday and when I opened them on the back side I found this…
As you can imagine… tears everywhere. My son wrote this at last years event. Perfectly up in a corner where it would be easy to leave on the doors. And of course you know… I did not paint over it.
It is these little things I seem to stumble upon day to day. A note, a memory, a card in the mail, or… even this package that came to my house this week…
This package came from a company that Justin created the logo for. Out of the blue… they sent this lovely package and a letter.
Right? Tears. Beautiful tears though. My son is loved. My heart… is full of the amazing people that were in his life. When he says above that Harry Potter helped him understand miracles like magic, I smile… he was magic. He was my miracle.
This is what grief looks like in writing.
Gah. I digress.
This was supposed to be a happy post. And it is… every day I fight to move forward trying to resemble “me”. Whoever I am now.
On a bookish note, I have been thinking more about What Are You Reading, the Monday meme. I think I will bring it back the first Sunday in September. I was going to start last week but was too tired. Next Sunday I plan to be at our cabin and I have no internet there so don’t want to stop and start and stop. I am not reading much due to the fullness of July and then the two events – Camp Benedict Bike Ride and now Wine and Words. Every day I am working on something but books will come back – that is the beauty of them… they wait for us.