Monday! In an odd way, I have been looking forward to this one. In the past weeks, months, I have felt like I have been moving through pea soup. Everything seems to take twice as long to accomplish. My brain has felt foggy, it has been hard to hold a thought and while I had ideas and plans, they tended to fizzle out and I would easily lose the desire for them.
For someone who has always thrived on ideas and making things happen… this has been concerning.
Yet – something has always remained true throughout all my life trials. I always seem to dig up that desire to DO again. It crinkles up in the corner of my brain, ideas… projects…. ways to connect people….
Even now. This time around when I was not sure what would become of me as I battle through day-to-day fighting off depression and debilitating grief…
the ideas are itching at the corners of my vision and I feel as though I now can start to grasp them and MOVE. In a way it is a sigh of relief.
I have not reached this alone, nor do I think I would have. I have been blessed and surrounded by many friends, family, and a community that has wrapped its arms around Al, Brad, and I and helped us. I have had so many opportunities to be with people and cry and be sad and share this deep sadness. It is through that, that I have began to maybe not heal – but level out somewhat. I know my limitations, and I stick with them. I do not put myself in situations that I know will be hard on me. It means saying to things that at one time I would not have missed. I know this will be a lifelong healing process and I am ok with that. My kid is worth every tear.
And that I have learned, is ok.
Ok – if I keep going this direction I will have to change the post title 🙂
Over a nice fairly quiet weekend I worked on a project for our home.
I found the pieces on Amazon. The 12 picture frames, the clock piece, and the vinyl saying. I picked out the pics from the stash I have and used the top of one of our 20 gallon crock nightstands to make the circle.
it all went on the wall.
It was fun to do and I LOVE it.
On the bookish side of this post, I have been working on Gatsby things, finalizing Wine and Words author line up, book sale in March prep, and that inkling in my head? It is bringing out plans for an Edible Book Fair, Harry Potter event plans with the new book, A fall book club in a bar called something like Books and Brews, a possible Author breakfast…..
I am in here – somewhere.