Wednesday morning here in Minnesota. Yesterday I had lunch with my Aunts and they were chatting about an article I had written for a local magazine that had just come out that day. I was unsure what they were talking about until they explained further and it was something I had written in early March when life was well… not this one. I had completely forgotten about the article although I knew I would have written the magazine release date down in my agenda. My agenda that I lived by day to day with all my “to do’s” and my “where I should be’s” and my “don’t forgets”.
Now that agenda lays under a pile of papers on my kitchen table. I only open it if I must to check on the dates of something. Now I can’t stand living by an agenda because it reminds me of the me who filled up all my time DOING DOING DOING and honestly for whatever reason it reminds me of who I was and this new and fragile me doesn’t like that busy person.
Even though I know it does not change a thing.
Now I live by a rule of if it gets done – it gets done. I want to complete things, I do… but my focus is not there. I am careful with my heart right now and I know I am not strong enough to charge ahead and make things happen. Perhaps someday, but hopefully not to the extent where I was… living by an agenda.
Today I have a friend coming over for coffee. This after noon another friend is coming over to work on my hosta garden with me and plant the two bleeding hearts I bought for Mother’s Day. Tonight I have the City Library Board meeting…. my first one since…
That’s enough of an agenda for me.
Many of our bookish friends are at the Book Expo that opens up today in New York. I am excited for them as this event has been one of the highlights of my year every year since 2010. I hope this one is also amazing.
Have a good day everyone.
Book Journey 
Reblogged this on rennydiokno.com.
Hope you have a good day too Sheila!
Happy gardening. I find it therapeutic and hope you do, too. Since we are both Minnesotans, I’m guessing your hostas will require a liberal dosing of Liquid Fence to keep the pesky deer away (at least that’s what I need to reapply today after the rain, rain, rain.)
Take care-
Just go at the pace you need.
I’m glad to hear you are gardening today. I find gardening therapeutic. Hopefully, you will find some happiness today. Thinking of you.
Carolyn
Love you, Sheila!!!!
Enjoying the moments is a great way to begin again. Thanks for sharing.
That’s a very busy day. Enjoy getting your hands dirty with your gardening.
Your doing more than I could if I were you💕
Just take as long as you need, honey!
Sheila, I’m glad you’re able, from time to time, to share how things are going because, just as I do, I’m sure all your online friends wonder how you are. What I love hearing is how your friends are there when you need them and in ways that are good for you 🙂
Your nature is “productivity” so not having a mapped out agenda doesn’t feel right, but even for a person without a heavy heart, you used to have a VERY full agenda—the kind that made us marvel. You’ll have an agenda once again, but it will look different. You don’t now all it will be made of, but it will happen over time. Right now taking it slow is your agenda and it seems that although you having left your job was for a different reason, that decision is now serving you differently and well—when your time must be your own. Hugs and prayers always 🙂
I think your post is a good reminder to just slow it all down. I get so wrapped up with my calendar and busyness and even though I make a real effort to curb it, I still find myself buried.
I hope you had a good time in your garden. I am not much of a gardener but with this drought, my neighbors are taking out stuff like lawns and shrubs and it’s a little depressing to see rocks instead of green.
It sounds ounds,eflikecyou are slowly rwecovering. Go at you own pace.
Glad you have nearby friends to share the small moments with, and live in the moment for now or however long you need to. Your blogger friends are always just a click away.
Thinking of you often Sheila!
It’s good to see you updating a bit, and reviewing. All things in due time. I know you’re giving yourself that time, all your friends understand and wish we could offer more solace or advice. I think of you often, and please know there are hugs and prayers for you from me.
I love that friends are quietly there for you and I love hearing you are being gentle with your fragile heart. Taking the time.
Going at the pace that feels right to you sounds good, Sheila, and whether that’s slowing down or doing, it doesn’t matter. It’s good to listen to yourself and see what you need. I get too wrapped up in my own busyness sometimes and when that happens, I have no clue what it is I really need.
Thank you for thinking of us, Sheila.
I miss seeing you at the BEA. I actually was at the information booth this morning and was tempted to take a photo but I didn’t, but I did think of you.
HUGS.
Elizabeth
I think spending time with friends is all you need on your agenda right now.
I’m happy to see that you are blogging and reading, even if your focus has changed. It is a step toward finding the new you, not the one you chose, but the one that chose you. Gardening is always therapeutic, but even more so when done with a friend. Hugs.
Oh yes Sheila – don’t be too hard on yourself right now. Like other commenters I’m glad you’re back blogging but it sounds like your perspective has changed and I’m sure that’s not a bad thing. I’m just really sorry about how it’s come about.
xxx