Good morning. *sips coffee deeply, slowly*
Did any of you ever watch Gilmore Girls ? If you watched it like I did (every episode and then I bought the seasons….) you may remember that in a particular episode or two they talked about Luke’s “Dark Day.” I don’t recall all the details of his “dark day” but I think it had to do with the passing of his dad and Luke would just disappear for a day.
Yesterday was my dark day.
June 6 is a hard day for me, It is an anniversary of a loss and even though it has been 15 years, it can still hit me like a ton of bricks. (Does this happen to anyone else?)
My point of sharing this really is multi-fold. One is, as much as I try to keep my posts on a happy note, occasionally there is stuff in our lives and I don’t mind letting you in. Two, this is where many things come into play that make me thankful… and without dark days… we may not always notice that silver lining. 🙂
Yesterday – I would have rather just been gone for a day. I was feeling bad, and if it were not for factors in my life and on this blog that I commit to – I would have had a “dark day” and not posted at all….
however…
It was Monday. And… the Monday meme is a privilege for me to host and I enjoy it. AND it was the start to Audio Week which I have so been looking forward to as I do love my audio and I am going to hopefully bring some of you nay sayers around to audio throughout this week. 😀 So my point is… no dark day… I had things to post.
As the day went on I left work early, came home with a plan to get some things done and instead I wallowed a bit in a dose of self-pity and then…. my College son called. He checked in on me, made sure I got the card he sent (he amazes me), and asked my plan for the day. I told him that I was home… that I was supposed to go out to dinner with a few friends but was going to pass. He told me I had to go out to dinner and if he had to he was going to text me friend and tell her to make me go.
So at 5:30 I went mainly because we were celebrating Key’s birthday and I did not want to miss out on that. As I drove through town I was down… but there is something about friends…. soon we were sitting outside the restaurant at a table with the warm sun and cool breeze, with the smell of lilacs next to a small waterfall. Tension and sorrow melted off me. We talked, we ate, we shared until 9:30 pm. It was getting dark when we left, and while I had no intentions of staying that late. I am so glad I did.
My point (I believe) in sharing this is that we all have these moments where we would just rather not let others in. The first part of June is hard on me.. has been for many years as memories pour through…. BUT, even my daily rituals of chatting with you makes it a little easier, and friends… are icing on the cake called life.
Ok – enough. One more thing this morning. I mentioned it is audio week (SSQQUUEEE). If you did not get a chance to read my introductory post yesterday, I hope you do. There is a giveaway. If you want to join in – check out Devourer Of Books as there are daily things and giveaways. Also – pop over to The Literate Housewife for the start of something fun… introducing: Shaken Not Stirred!
Book Journey 
my “disappear” time is april…thankfully you have your son to nudge into the life you love!
what helps me is to keep in the back of my head that wallowing isn’t going to help me and it ceretainly wouldn’t please the people i’ve lost…glad you have people that care about you and enjoy thye day the Lord has made!
Thanks Diana 🙂
Thank you for sharing your day with us. Others certainly can help on those days, even if you think you want to he alone. Be kind to yourself.
Thank you – all in all… it was a good day.
I totally get it about feeling down and wanting to just be out of it for a day (or hour or whatever). But isn’t it great that you have friends and family that understand your sadness, but help you get through it? It sounds like they allow you your feelings, but show you the good at the other side!
It is awesome to be surrounded by friends who help me through tough days Helen 😀
You are such a strong person and a great influence on many. Thank you for posting and my thoughts are with you for future dark days.
As for the Gilmore Girls! Yes i love that show and watched that particular episode several times due to re-runs on one of the british TV channels!
Thank you 🙂
I love Gilmore Girls too!
I have a day like that in August and have learned to surround myself with friends.
Your son is absolutely amazing. I mean AMAZING. That he would look out for you so much shows that he was raised with the love and compassion he shows those he loves. It made me tear up a little.
Thank you for sharing your day with us and thank you even more for being such a great and sweet blogger!
He is a great son Caitie – you should see the card. I tried reading it over the phone t a friend last night and I just sobbed….
As time passes, we unfortunately experience more and more of those days of loss, but remembering to nurture ourselves, as you did with your friends, is an important piece of the healing process.
My big dark day is in April…and although it’s been 28 years now, I can only say that it never goes away, but time heals a bit.
Thanks Laurel… I dont ever want to forget so I am ok to carry the pain 🙂
Hugs to you! Glad you were able to spend it with others, it does help. It still happens to me, Shelia, even after 25 years. My day is June 25.
Hugs back Nise, it is interesting to see that others have a day as well….
Sending you (((GREAT BIG HUGS))). I have one of those days coming up but am hoping I will be on a happy high from the graduation celebration. My dad died back in 1988 on June 12th. Before my accident I would always take that day off from work because I knew I would be “blue” and not be able to tolerate the usual work madness. I would go and sit on his grave and “have a talk” like we used to when he was alive. Now that I am unable to do that and because it has been so long I try to fill that day with as much as possible so I don’t have time to think about it. My mom passed away 3 years ago and her death has never affected me like Dad’s, weird, I don’t understand it but that’s just how it is.
Anyway SENDING YOU HUGS and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. As others have said, it never goes away, some years are worse than others but we survive and help each other go on.
Thanks Lori 🙂
It sounds like you have a wonderful support group in your family and friends. I hope the rest of June is less painful for you. I know you’ve converted one person to audio because I read a post saying that today.
Oh thats fun Kathy – thank you, now I am curious as to who is doing audio….LOL 😀
I am so sorry you were sad but how lucky you are that friends and family helped you to feel better…dinner with friends always helps…
Thanks Patty…. it was an ok day 🙂
When I get down in the dumps about anything, it’s definitely my inclination to just draw the curtains and disappear, so I can definitely relate to that sentiment. Unfortunately, it’s rarely the right choice. Being around people who care definitely helps, even though I’m forever forgetting that! Sounds like your son is a sweet, smart kid who knows just how to help.
Glad your dark day is past (and not so very darkly after all) for this year, and hope you’ve got many happier days to come!
Thanks Megan… it was an ok day… it just sucks that still effects me so strongly. 🙂
Good for you for forcing yourself to go on and connect. It can be difficult to do. I do think it is important, though, to acknowledge these times and the feelings they bring and not to pretend they aren’t there. However, it is good not to “give in” to them and wallow in negative feelings that won’t help you.
Thanks Jenners… it is usually a day of reflection, but yes, it is easy to get down into it and the sorrow of the loss…. each year I make it through… each year I wonder why a day can have such an effect on me. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sheila. I’m glad you have some distractions (and friends and family) to keep you company during your dark time.
Thanks! (I looked at your gravatar and thought – that looks like Runner Sami’s…. then remembered you changed the blog name. 🙂
We all have days when it’s harder than normal to connect, but you’re right, doing so does make it better. Thanks for sharing!
Sure Hannah – thanks for reading 🙂 I feel much better today.
Good to hear! 😀
Your son is so wonderful and thoughtful! I’m glad you were able to go out with your friends and that they could lift your spirits in some way.
Oh, and I do remember Luke’s dark day (and I own all the seasons too). 🙂
Anyway, I get what you’re saying about dark days. Mine falls on my birthday, and I usually just choose to not discuss it with anyone and take some time to myself.
Crazy stuff huh Alyce? I cant explain it…. it just is.
(YAY for Gilmore Girls though!)
Mine is the end of May/Memorial Weekend.
Thought about you the other day when I was driving on 371 (you know where) & said a quick prayer for ya.
Thanks Joelle…. I have not been that direction in a long time. 🙂
Thanks for sharing Sheila. Dark days are hard; very hard. I am glad that you did things even though you felt like you did not want to. Sounds like the doing helped a bit.
What a lovely son you have; calling and checking in on you.
One other thing, Gilmore Girls is one fantastic show. Love it.
My boys are good…. Navy son called later in the day to check in on me too… he is not as sensitive to these things as his younger brother but I still so appreciate their remembering. 🙂