Happy Mother’s Day!

For those of you who have followed this site for a long, long time, you may remember Morning Meanderings… the posts where I just shared my life – not just books.

I miss that.

I miss that place to put my voice… put my thoughts.

So here goes.

Mother’s Day is a mixed bag of nuts for me. One amazing son on earth. Once amazing son in Heaven since 2015. This. Changes. This Day.

Throughout the years, many people have said how strong I am. And I never felt strong. If you have been through something like this, you know what I mean. You do what you have to do. You get up. You function… You have good days, and you have days when you are a little sad, sometimes even a little mad.

As cringy as saying this is – life does go on.

It’s just…. different.

For whatever reason, this morning…. I feel strong. I feel that no one will ever understand my personalized concoction of grief. My mom is gone (car accident). My dad and sister are gone (house fire). My son – you know…. and it’s A LOT. Let’s be honest.

We all have stuff.

Last night, I worked as a Wedding Coordinator, and I worked HARD. 12 hours of non-stop setting up a room, setting up the outdoor Ceremony Space, setting the place cards, checking dietary information, MOVING MOVING MOVING. On top of my already full week at my Real Job 🙂

It’s what gets me through…. Busy.

And now here we are today. And the sun is shining… and I’m drinking my coffee out of my Harry Potter cup (far right in picture) because I choose my cup of the day – by mood ( I am a sentimental beast – always have been). And the Harry Potter cup is from my son, Brad.

Today….
I am self-caring.
Sheila Style.

I’m going to mow the lawn. That may not sound like self-care, but it is. I LOVE to mow the lawn. I made sure my dorky 80s style headphones are charged up so I can listen to my book, which is the 4th in a series ( more on that soon), and I should finish that today.

And … I’m going to sit on the deck in the sun and read. I have a few ideas here…

Brad and Kylie will pop over this afternoon, we will grill tonight, and I am going to pick up a nice bottle of wine.

That’s my plan.

It’s not often I just hang. There’s always a project… there’s always something I should fix, clean, update, DO.

And…

Not today.

Today I am just going to BE. Allow myself to feel the feels with the sun on my face and quiet, persistent memories in my heart. And that’s ok.

I hope to write more Meanderings…. so much to share .. so much I want to have a record of on this crazy space that has been my shared space since 2009.

Have an amazing day.

~Sheila