Morning Meanderings… If Wishes Were

meme Another lovely day here in Central Minnesota. I am up early as usual.  COFFEE cup in hand I explore the deck off the back of the house, my way of bonding with the weather of the day deciding how to dress and mentally ticking off the “to do’s” of the day – or more likely in this time in my life, the lack of “to do’s”.  Just “being” is about all I can do right now.

I am having these…. moments. Moments I think, “What would Justin say about that?”  Imaging conversations in my head about his take on life happenings, Bouncing off the “what if’s” and planning for future get togethers. Get togethers I know (I know I know) can not happen. I think I am going to pick up a nice notebook and start writing things down that I would say to him just to put it out there. So much I have to say and no where to put the words.

Born with teeth, Kate Mulgrew, Whisper Beach, Shelley Noble   Books have really been my salvation.  I bury myself in reading and audio every chance I get.  Safer now to be in someone elses world than my own.  Yesterday I started Whisper Beach by Shelley Noble and I am devouring it…enjoying the beach atmosphere once again, friendships renewing, and a lovely vision of the Blue Crab Cafe which in my mind carries delicious aromas every time it is mentioned in the book.  Born With Teeth I am just getting into, still learning about Katie Mulgrew’s childhood…. new to my Audible listening is Down The Rabbit Hole by Holly Madison, a once “top bunny” of the Playboy Mansion (so that may sound like an odd choice to listen to but the sample was really good, so we shall see…)

Today I may tackle a garden project… undecided at this point but I have perennials to plant and an idea forming in my head.  Nothing big on my agenda today (thankfully!) and I think a quiet day here at home is just about as good as it gets these days.  My upcoming weekend has slowly filled up with “to do’s” and it makes me nervous to be that FULL.  I know life goes on, I see it all around me but I am not moving anywhere near the pace that it is.

24 thoughts on “Morning Meanderings… If Wishes Were

  1. I know it is a cliche, but even from the UK I really feel your pain and know that there is nothing anyone can do to really help. I think writing your thoughts down is an excellent idea. I know you probably don’t want to hear that anymore, but your are a very brave and amazing woman. Take good care of yourslef.

  2. I started getting through the pain of loss by writing…and after a while, I fictionalized the loss and created some characters. My novel Miles to Go came to be.

    Love your stack of books…they look good. I have Born with Teeth on my stack.

  3. Journaling is a great way to put things out to the universe. I know I do it when I am particularly lost. I have notebooks filled with things I just cannot say for one reason or another.

  4. I love the idea of putting your thoughts and ideas into a notebook to share with your beloved Justin. Your writing is always so full of the spirit of you, which is what makes your writng so powerful and true. Your soul has been deeply wounded, your path has been altered, but you have the strength and love of family and friends to support and love you. We are here for you.

  5. I too think the journal is a grand idea. I journal some, but several years ago, wrote quite a lot during a particularly awful time in my life. It helped a great deal. Hope you feel that it helps you. One day at a time my mama used to say.

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