There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don’t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are we sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Should we be patient? Forgive and forget? Do something else entirely? In this book, you’ll find the answers to these questions, differences, and sins of your spouse to help you become more like Christ. Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily result in a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways – although both could occur. It will, however, teach you to respond wisely when wronged and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him.
In My Opinion
I like reading books like this and picking up bits and pieces of information I can apply in my own life. I am not saying here that my husband is doing wrong – or that I am doing wrong and he is standing behind me pointing at me hoping I don’t see. BUT the beauty of a book like this is I think any marriage can benefit from it. There is a little something for everyone (as I turn and make sure that Al is not standing behind me and pointing).
Reading through this book there is a theme of not only committing to your marriage but committing to your spouse. Through chapters and topics such as Stop Reacting and Start Responding and Recognize Your Power To Choose, author Leslie Vernick brings scripture as a reminder that how we treat one another as husband and wife is all part of God’s plan and in His words.
Choose To LOVE …. Rather than hate
Choose to SMILE… Rather than frown
Choose to BUILD… Rather than destroy
Choose to PERSEVERE… Rather than quit
Choose to PRAISE… Rather than gossip
Choose to HEAL… rather than wound
Choose to GIVE… rather than grasp
Choose to ACT… rather than delay
Choose to FORGIVE… rather than curse
Choose to PRAY… rather than despair
* CHOICES: ‘Our choices reveal what we love the most, what we fear, what is of ultimate value to us, and what we think we need in life–in other words, our choices expose the dominant desires of our heart.’
While you (and I ) may look at these choices and think of course, these are no brainers…. look at them again. How often do we (I) tend to forget that how I act, how I respond to any and all situations is a choice. A God given choice. I have often reminded myself that each hard situation we go through, every obstacle in our lives is a chance to grow to learn. I like to look at this life as a training ground for whats to come and Leslie Vernick brings God’s word through this book as reminder to use the tools that we naturally have, but sometimes forget we do.
About Leslie Vernick
Author Leslie Vernick is a licensed clinical social worker who has her own private counseling practice and more than twenty years of experience counseling individuals and families from a biblical world view. She is also a popular speaker for women’s groups, couple’s retreats and professional seminars.
This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.
Book Journey 
This looks like a book all married people could benefit from reading.
I think so Vicki. When I agreed to review it I thought this will just be a review it will have nothing for me…. ah…. yeah… ha ha… I learned from reading this book. 🙂
I think I need this book. Even though I don’t have a spouse, just a boyfriend.
Audrey I think it would be for anyone who is in a relationship – and maybe even pre relationship. There were some great lessons and reminders within these pages.
I probably have the worst, most-explosive temper when it comes to my relationship with my husband. I love him dearly but yes, it is sometimes quite easy to forget about commitment and love when you’re really angry. This book does sound like something I could use, however I also have a feeling it’s not a one-read books, rather something you return to to remind yourself what marriage is all about in moments when it’s the hardest to remember.
LOL Lilly – I hear you! Al works a ton of hours so that time we do have together is all the more important. I am probably with him 2 to 3 hours a day tops. This book reminded me that I need to make the most out of that time instead of being grumpy that is all we have.
It sounds like this book offers a positive message. Too few of us focus on taking responsibility for our own choices when frustrated with a spouse.
Guilty here Stephanie 🙂
I had a friend whose husband died unexpectedly and an incident like that puts things in perspective-so you really need to get annoyed because they did not do something right?
This looks like a book with an awesome message! Makes me appreciate the non-existent boyfriend even more. 🙂
Hi Reagan! I think relationships in this day and age are just hard no matter what. I am not much for a self help style book, but didnt get that vibe from this book. I can take all the reminders that I can get that I am responsible fro how I react to situations and that attitude right there can change the whole outcome.
I didn’t get married until I was 42! AND my husband and I dated for 10 years first. Sheesh. You can’t blame me for waiting, though, considering both of my parents are married…for the third time.
This book looks good. I love the idea about making a commitment to your spouse, specifically. And reminders are always good 🙂 Sometimes that’s all you need.
Lynne I was married at 20 and my husband was 18. True story! I think waiting like you did would have been ideal…. we have struggled through some tough years and a book like this just reminds me of what it is all about. 🙂
I avoid books like this. The reason is I think as women, we put up with too much. The title alone bothers me. I want to see reversed roles in those titles. Don’t get me wrong. I have tried this route. Lost my hair and had a horrible case of the shingles. Guess I just don’t have that meekness in my personality. And never underestimate the spiritual uplifting a little cursing will do. 😉
J Kaye I can always count on you to make me smile… 🙂 and in this case…. even laugh: “never underestimate the spiritual uplifting a little cursing will do”.
I’m about halfway through this book. I have found many great quotes and tips to help improve my marriage. There are so many “common sense” things that the author brings out that I have just never thought of before!
HI Julie J – I thought so too… if you ever get a chance read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. That is the best book I have ever read on how men think. Her husband wrote one called for Men only which I havent read, but her insight was so right on for the book she wrote about men… I am curious what the man one is like.
I’m a little leery of self-help books like this as well. Seems the majority of the work is put on the woman’s shoulders. Men need to work at a marriage as well.
Loved J.Kaye’s comment of “never underestimate the spiritual uplifting a little cursing will do!” Need someone to stitch that onto a pillow for me! *L*
LOL Alexia – that would be awesome on a pillow!