Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to post my review of Marriage 101 by Jewell R. Powell.  I really enjoyed her insight into marriage and the book was a pleasure to read.  I asked Jewell if she would have a little time to join me here at One Person’s Journey Through Books and share a little bit about her book with us.

She said yes.  Please warmly welcome, Jewell R. Powell.

Jewell, I am so excited to have you here.  I enjoyed reading your book and found a couple…. errr, maybe more, things that I could apply into my own marriage.   What are some of the unrealistic expectations couples have today about marriage?

Jewell: Thank you Sheila, my answer to that question would be:

• #1 Couples who are happy in their marriages, don’t have problems.

• #2 Your spouse should be perfect with no imperfections.

• #3 What we see on TV, read in fictional books and see in movies regarding relationships are real.

• #4 Marriage should be easy, it shouldn’t require so much work.

What advice would you give to  husbands to improve their marriage?

Jewell: My husband says, “tell them not to think about the negative things going on in their marriage or else they will be angry most of the time.” I say, men must know they are ultimately responsible for the failure and/or success of their family. Men need to understand they are not only responsible to be head of their family but they are directly accountable to Christ. This enables him to get in position to hear directly from God concerning the will of God for their family. Lewis says that when we separated, although I was praying to God for our marriage, he was too.  The reconciliation would have not taken place, if he also wasn’t seeking God as to his family and what He should do.

What advice do you have for wives to improve their marriage?

Jewell: The biggest lesson for me was how I can honor God through my marriage. God taught me that to honor Him, I was to honor Lewis. Also, God created men with the need for respect from his wife, it’s the top of his list and he needs it almost as much as he needs air to breathe. When we value and respect someone, we invest ourselves in their care & and take the time to build up their feelings of self-worth. A man who doesn’t receive respect from his wife is a man who begins to deteriorate and so will the relationship. The kind of love & respect God is calling wives to have for their husbands is sacrificial and unconditional.

That’ s good advice.  I have read that before that while women find the most important thing is to feel loved, to a man the most important thing is to be respected.  What would you say to that person who is literally at the end of their rope…. and can’t do it anymore?

Jewell: I was at that point so I completely understand. I will say what someone said to me, DON”T GIVE UP! God says, I know the plans I have toward you they are good and not evil to give you an expected end.

I must admit that my struggle was me concentrating on what he was doing or was not doing that I didn’t like. I learned to stop looking at him and focus on the changes I needed to make within me to be a better wife. It took a lot of work! We all want better marriages but no one is willing to change and there lies the problem. So the question to them, Are you willing to change?

(NOTE: I am not speaking to the one who is going through physical abuse)

How can spouses put the spark back in their marriage?

Jewell: It doesn’t take money or any grand gesture such as taking a Hawaiian vacation.  Start small, eat dinner by candlelight. Have a picnic in the middle of the living room floor. Email an e card or go for a walk. Talk kindly to one another.  In the back of Marriage 101 and on the website (www.marriage101.us), I have a list of 30 love deposits to get you started.

That’s a good idea Jewell!  I will check that out on your website.  Is their one biblical verse that you cling too?

Jewell: Isaiah 55:8-11 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts…” I have realized, as a Christian, that God expects me (us) to do things that really don’t make sense. I must say that it is not my favorite scripture but it helps me to stay focus – to do the right thing.

Jewell, this book is so timely and well written, are their any plans for any more books in your future?

Jewell: I have a four (4) book mini-series coming out in December 2009 that covers marriage topics we all face: Sex & Intimacy, Communication, Parenting, and Finance. In addition, there is a Marriage 101 Marriage Enrichment and Premarital Curriculum.

Thank you Jewell so much for taking the time to sit and chat with us today.  Readers, please take time to read the Review of Marriage 101 and check out the “Date Package Giveaway” being offered to one lucky commenter.